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I feel angsty like an emo teenager....

I really don't know how much more I can take. I just found out that I'm at serious risk for acute pancreatitis and stroke, and there's a possibility of having a heart attack. I'm 23. How the fuck did my life go from, "oh I'm fine, I just have a little bit of a bad immune system" at 14 to "fuck, I'm about to take 20 different medicines and I'm still not fine" at 23. What happened? I have no idea how my life just flipped.

I'm going backwards here today, but the reason why I'm at risk for pancreatitis and stroke is because my triglycerides have yet to go down, and has instead increased over time. I'm at somewhere around 900 and the maximum it should be is 150 =/. It's really bad.. It was at 700 when I was 14, 600 three years ago, 350 two years ago, and somehow with a better diet, it's up to 900. I really don't know how it happened. For the possibility of a heart attack, I've never had a good amount of 'good' cholesterol, which puts me at risk for that. I guess I can rejoice in the fact that at least my 'bad' cholesterol is low too?

Ugh. Anyways, honestly, life has been mostly good otherwise. I got to spend time with my boyfriend this week and I was glad that he was there when I was told the news. I miss waking up next to him. I've never felt so comfortable elsewhere. 

My life is not that bad, just stressful and full of too many pills. I miss my friends a lot though.. I need to remember to text more often, seriously.

Love you allll <3.


Comments

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serenitytouched
Jun. 26th, 2012 01:26 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear that. =[

With things like this, I can never understand why. Especially still so young. Just sucks with how bodies work. They either do or they don't. I don't know why certain illnesses happens to us, but I wish it didn't.

No doubt it sucks having to take so much medication. Big pain in the rear. I feel like we all enviably will have to do it when we age. I wish you didn't have to so early, but in the end have to do whatever possible to keep yourself in working order.

Glad otherwise you're okay right now <3
setsuna2sara
Jun. 26th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
Eh, it's a fact of life for me now, I guess? I'm usually not so whiny-feeling about my pills, because believe me, I know my body is all messed up, but it feels like it's just kind of raining shitballs right now. I've gotten 7 new pills this last month alone. Knowing some more of the risks as well has gotten me into a bit of a panic, but I know that'll pass soon. Apparently my dad had the same problem with the triglyceride levels, so at least I know it's genetic.
It does suck quite a big one, but at least I'm well adapted to it now. My stepdad was asking how I was able to take them all, and well, my body adapted. At least some of my issues are calming down (yay fewer headaches and back spasms!), and I feel like I should be focusing more on that instead of the depressing parts. I'll probably update my blog soon and say what good things have happened recently.
Yeah, honestly it's just my health that's spiraling down. I'm doing good on my saving for a costume (~$32 in about a week!) so see, I'm happy, but I feel like I've been slammed into the wall a few times recently. I'll go on still happy though, because like you said, I'm doing ok =] <3.
serenitytouched
Jun. 27th, 2012 04:29 am (UTC)
Yeah, but I don't blame you (nor would anyone else!).

You already know with me it helps to vent, even though I hate doing it, but it just helps. Cause there isn't a lot of good in life going on too.

I hope you get better soons. :( I don't want you to get any worse. All I can do is keep you in my thoughts. <3

Nice about the costume. :) I'm actually getting one in the mail soon from my friend. It's a jouin outfit, but I haven't decided who I want to do yet. ^^
aki_taivas
Jun. 28th, 2012 02:59 am (UTC)
Oh goodness Lizzi. I'm sorry. I'm not really sure of what type of things could help with this other than just offering my support. I don't really get too much as to how most of this works but goodness I can't even fathom taking twenty different medications on a regular basis. I hope that things get better soon and that everything finds itself in a healthy balance for you.
setsuna2sara
Jun. 28th, 2012 04:09 am (UTC)
Honestly, just knowing that you care is enough <3. Maybe even read/listen to my complaints now and then =]. It's hard, not gonna lie, but I think that I'll be able to make it. If anything happens, I can't change that now, but I'm trying. Thanks for always being there, Emmy. It means a lot =].

I'm still struggling with the fact that I take 20 different meds.. It's rough, but if it helps, then I'm all good for that =].
aki_taivas
Jun. 29th, 2012 05:14 am (UTC)
You're such a strong person, a fighter (meant in the most positive sense of course) that I know you'll overcome this and make it through. If you need to rant you know how to reach me and at worse I'll find a post of yours here. :) Hang in there I know while things may be rough eventually there's going to be a good outcome. You're long over due for it!! I've got your back <3 *hug*
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